Confused and not a little disoriented, the young teenager curls up on his or her bunk with the comforting heft and feel of a portable computer. After about half an hour of use, a small black cat pokes its head up from the bottom of the screen. It looks out at the user, twitches its tail, and bounds across the monitor to a point indistinguishable from any other. It paws at the pixels, unearthing a hidden icon before it fades away, leaving only a wide grin which also fades away.

Double clicking on the icon brings up a small video window, a young man in shaggy purple hair peering out at the user and grinning. "Hey," he says, conspiratorily, "If you're like us, then anybody over fifteen has buggered off and left you to fend for yourself for two days, so there's no danger of me being overheard. Last year, we were in the same spot you were. No idea what was going on. Nothing but that huge collection of Don'ts  they call the Student Manual. So let me tell you the three most important things you ought to know here at Ashworth, and then we'll leave you a bunch of links to more information you might find useful.

"Thing number one: Curfew. They're fucking serious about it. I mean like "don't break curfew or you end up physically actually dead with your heart not beating any more" serious. Ghosts with swords walk the campus at night, and even the instructors stay in their rooms. If you don't believe another damned thing I say, believe that. We lost a girl on our first night. If you believe this and one of your friends doesn't, try to convince them. You may save their lives. If you need help, have them do a freshman headcount at meals. No matter how much information we put out, some people will still disappear.

"Thing number two: Your best resource in this place is each other. Make friends. Work together. Watch each other's backs. This place is like nothing you've seen before, and right now there's nobody on your side. Change those odds.

"Thing number three: Don't be a sad bastard like me and take fuck off classes. Knowing how to dance impresses the girls--and trust me, that's nice--but knowing magic, or gymnastics, might just save your fucking life. I know this sounds like utter shite, but if you check out the information we've put together here, things we wish we'd known our first year, you just might save yourself a world of hurt."

The Top 10 Scariest Things about the Ashworth Academy